you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
