grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
