i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
