so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
