i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize