a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
