speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
