I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
