My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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