do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
