from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
