i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
This is classic penis vs brain.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
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