Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I didn't notice because vodka
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
