what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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