Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
