Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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