I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
