Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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