I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
