So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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