a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
