I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
