We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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