I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
