Man, jail baloney is awful.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
