Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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