I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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