what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
