Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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