When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
