Screwed.edu
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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