I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
