Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
