maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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