Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
