I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
