Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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