Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize