Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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