yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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