Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
