Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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