I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
