i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
