It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
