Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
