when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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