I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
