Soap is not a condiment
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
