I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
