Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
